what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
