I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
