so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
