gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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