insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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