Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
