as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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