just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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