38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
