Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He better not be in your backpack
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
