I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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