you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
