Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
