I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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