I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
