I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
