I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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