What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My vagina just recognized that song.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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