The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
