Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
