That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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