i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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