Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
