no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
