Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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