Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
