Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He felt like a one man threesome
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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