Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize
