I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
