mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
