Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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