Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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