nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
