His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
