3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
