It was confusing and full of hummus
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Couch. On fire.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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