smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
