And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
