proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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