I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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