Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
