Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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