I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
