your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
