it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
