Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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