i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
