So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
