all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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