I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
