Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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